As much as I try to Notice goodness … sometimes I can't.
I've been thinking a lot lately about how this work best serves in the current climate. It is my personal and professional opinion that we get more of what we focus on, and that things don't need to be perfect to Notice goodness. That being said, there is a palpable sense of overwhelm in our communities and it has lead me to writing this important blog post today.
I believe (and science proves) that Noticing goodness is a helpful success strategy for life. At the heart of The Noticed Network is the mission to help people Notice the goodness in themselves and others because we know that when people are Noticed the world is a better place.
So we've created Noticed gifts, blogs, and social media posts with the hope that bringing this strategy to mind will help remind us all to chose to Notice goodness. But what if we find ourselves, or someone we love, in a place where we just can't?
I personally have had times in my past where I felt like I could not choose goodness, and I am mindful of the many one-on-one conversations that I have had with coaching clients and audience participants about how no matter how much the concept of Noticing goodness resonates in the brain, it can feel completely overwhelming, and scary, to feel like it's not a choice.
While speaking to a large group of professionals about the art, the science, & the impact of Noticing goodness, I remember recognizing one participant that was really struggling. After the workshop she said,
"I think it was difficult going through this with mental illness (depression). As much as I try to practice these methods, sometimes my body is against me. If you could, include tips for people who are not struggling out of lack of desire but rather chemical imbalance or trauma."
That feedback has changed the way that I talk about the strategy of Noticing goodness when I am training or coaching.
Noticing goodness is a helpful strategy assuming that we can choose it.
Leaning into self awareness and self-care has become an important part of this deeper conversation because if we find ourselves faced with the reality that we can not choose to Notice goodness it is VERY IMPORTANT INFORMATION!
If you or someone you are close to can identify with the title of this blog: "As much as I try to Notice goodness … sometimes I can't." it is VERY IMPORTANT INFORMATION.
Having negative thoughts is totally normal. As a matter of fact it is estimated that we get about 70,000 thoughts per day and approximately 70% of those are naturally negative. And as much as I'm all about championing Noticing goodness, I have a healthy respect for noticing those things that don't feel good. It is in that contrast that we learn how to be safe, how to set boundaries, and what we really benefit from when it comes to self care.
A mentally healthy brain can recognize a negative thought, evaluate it's value, and choose to change the channel to something more positive, or not. If we, or someone we are close to, find ourselves faced with the reality that we can not choose to Notice goodness, it is so important that we talk to a professional who can offer support.
One of the resources that I trust and refer people to is
You can click on the image or visit their website at www.firststepforhelp.com to get more info and their phone service is multilingual, always confidential, and there are Master's level clinicians answering the calls 24 hours a day 7 days a week.
As someone who truly wants to love the whole world it can be overwhelming when I see people hurting and just want to help. With wisdom and experience I have learned that sometimes I can offer a perspective, a strategy, or the gift of Noticing and it makes a positive difference. HOWEVER, I have also learned that sometimes the best thing I can do is help by providing a connection to mental health professionals.
If I recognize that someone I am close to just can't Notice goodness I really take that seriously, and I help create a connection with a mental health professional.
I myself am grateful for the mental health professionals who have helped me to shape my mental wellness. I vividly remember the resistance to starting on that journey, and the relief when I realized that I was in a place where I could once again choose how I was going to be in the world. I am also grateful for the people in my life who saw me, heard parts of my story, and told me that I mattered enough to get the help I needed to be me.
It is my hope that everyone can be in a place to choose to Notice goodness. The practice has changed my life, and I am blown away by the ripples of goodness that it creates. It is an honor to get to be a part of this community, and just like our website says:
Our mission is to help people Notice the goodness in themselves and others. Our goal is for everyone in the world to know that they are Noticed. Our hope is that you will join us in changing the world for good.