We've Noticed with Amy+Hayley

I walk into Amy’s office for the first time, and it’s just like you’d expect a space that’s bright, warm, and gives off an intangible feeling of being immediately at home. This is a day that’s been coming for a long time.

Amy and I met through zoom in the midst of quarantine, and by some miracle of alignment we have been working together for a few months through video chat. Walking through the gray door into her office for the first time, it all feels pretty surreal.

“Hello, Hayley!” She has the most warm, beautiful smile.

I’m taking it all in. There’s a long, window-lit conference table that reminds me of a tree trunk. Bright murals cover the walls. A whiteboard is covered with a mixture of hand-written inspiring quotes. The space fits the mission really beautifully.

Although I walked in with talking points, I had no way of knowing the stories that would come out within our first interview. With a homemade Thai tea in hand, sitting on the blue couch felt like just the place to be.

Hayley: Okay first off, I love your office! What! It is so much cozier than I could ever tell over video. It so suits you. People who will read this online have no clue how comfy this couch is. So! My hope is that they are able to curl up, get comfy, and take time to read something nice on the internet. There’s nothing quite like a real talk with a friend- and we could all use more moments like that.

Amy: Thank you! Well that sounds like every conversation we have, so that's great.

Alright, I want to start out with some rapid fire questions. So say the first thing that comes to mind, okay? Okay: Pet, or plant?

Pet! Love plants too, but I like the connection.

What’s one quote that inspires you?

Oh, man. It’s up on my wall. I have my own quote which is, “When people know that they are Noticed, the world's a better place.” It’s in my office so I see it everyday.

Great reminder. Favorite drink lately?

This grapefruit spritzer I love. I have a bottle of it at home, and I add it to tonic water. It's delicious. (She texted me later: It’s called Ketel One Botanical in Grapefruit and Rose flavor.)

Most recent book you read?

Happy Money, by Ken Honda.

What music are you listening to right now?

I'm kind of all over the place, but on my playlist right now is Pink’s Just Like Fire, All I Do is Win.

Yes! That's amazing. I love that.

And Shape of You by Ed Sheeran.

Good picks. Last rapid-fire question: What's one way that you've

practiced self-love lately?

I have been going on a walk every day, and then decided to turn it into

running. No set goal on how I wanted to go faster, it’s just a time to

listen to my body and do what feels good. Getting that time on the

trails has been awesome!

Alright. Ready? We’re going to dig in now.

Let’s dig.

I know that you've been Noticing people for a long time. How many

years have you been doing it, now? Can you remember?

Let’s see- the first round of people I Noticed was on my birthday in

2011. So, June of 2011.

That's a long time. What have you learned since you started? Like,

what have you learned about Noticing that you didn't know at the

beginning?

So I’ve learned that Noticing is about all people of all ages. It wasn't

always that way. I thought it was just for women. I thought that

women would get it. But as I did it for a few months, people started

asking, “How can I notice the men in my life?” And so it just took a little

bit for me to realize: Oh! This is for all people!

So that really expanded it. What helped you learn it was for all ages?

I remember Noticing my older girls, because they were in school and they could clip the keychain on their backpacks. My youngest came to me and said, “How old do you have to be to get Noticed?” And I told her that she was definitely old enough! The really cool thing about it was how she paid attention and knew that once you got Noticed, you could spread it to other people. Her reason for asking was so that she could pass it on and Notice her teachers, and back then she was just four! So I was like, okay. This is all people, of all ages.

You brought up the keychains. When and why did the keychain come up?

So I have a background in training and development. That is what my degree is in, and what I used in my early career. I’m a human behavior geek, and so with that knowledge I believed that there needed to be an anchor for this experience. Something to make it stick. I remember the day the question popped into my head, it felt like a gift: “What would happen if people were Noticed for being exactly who they are?”

I asked Carl that question. What if there really were no strings attached, and people really did feel seen. And he said, “I think it would change the world.” The keychain is universal, I want people to see it every day, that way the keychain makes it stick. It’s a moment in time, but the beauty in it is the way you see it over and over again, and you can remember.

And like you said, without any strings attached. Without: because I want this, because it will help this get accomplished- it really is to simply Notice the good.

Yes! Exactly. I see you, I hear you, and you matter.

So you’ve been doing this long enough that you’ve gotten to Notice a lot of people, and you’ve been able to see the ripple effects. But I bet you have also been doing this long enough that people have Noticed you, and you’ve gotten to experience that in return. Is there a time that happened that you can share?

When I think back to my birthday party in 2011, I really intended that party to be about me opening this concept and getting to Notice some important supporters and friends in my life. I had a cake made that said Noticed on it, decorated teal champagne glasses to say Noticed on them, and had everyone’s keychain and card with their name on an envelope displayed and ready to present to them. I was so focused on how special I wanted it to be for each of them, that it’s funny, it never crossed my mind how they would be returning that love by sharing their own gifts with me.

I guess that seems ridiculous today, because it was a birthday party and people often bring gifts to a birthday party. But my heart was to make it all about them. That’s the thing about Noticing though, what you give you get back. Noticing has tended to be that way over the past nine years.

So would you say people should throw a party to start this? Or what is the best way to start?

I always love a good party, but honestly the only requirement is to make sure you’re Noticing from the heart. In a way that’s authentic to you.

I have seen Noticing benefit people in all kinds of circumstances. It’s a good strategy. For example- I think when people are stuck, they want to try to get what they’re missing. Try to go out and get it. And what I’ve learned about Noticing is that if you are not feeling seen, or heard, or valued, and you want to be - start by Noticing the people around you. Do that first, because it will come back to you. It may not be right away, and it may not be from the person you give this gift to, but it will come back to you. We get what we give, always.

I think a really cool way to wrap this up is to come back to the community it’s all about. We’re going to do something called a #NoticedShoutOut- where you think of someone to Notice right now. It can be for something you’ve seen them do, or some good thing you’ve Noticed about who they are. Who would you like to give a #NoticedShoutOut to?

Just for the record, this is super hard for me. I am the girl in fifth grade who invites everyone to the party because I can’t stand it when anyone gets left out.

Well, I’m going to make you do it every time, so! There will be more.

Today, my I AM Noticed business partner Jaime is really on my heart. I Am Noticed is a combination of her passion for self-confidence and positivity, and my passion for Noticing. She’s my office neighbor and has all kinds of cool, funky artwork on her walls- she’s a very talented artist.

I’m especially thankful for her right now. During the last few months we have had big choices to make, just like everyone else has. Defining what’s going on, and then figuring out how we want to respond to it. She has set such a great example of staying true to herself, checking in with herself, asking good questions, being brave enough to see the answers, and taking risks- all while genuinely having a caring heart as things are heavy and hard. I’m grateful for her.

And plus! A big bonus: she’s super fun to work with! This is important work, and we know when to put our serious face on-but one of the things that I have Noticed the most is how excited I feel when I come in, and how much I love doing this work with her.